MUMBAI TAPORI HINDI

Language – a Blessing or a Curse ?

A Lali-Venki-Mummy dialogue in

Mumbai Tapori Hindi

The underbelly of every metro city comprises the culturally rootless, socially and educationally backward, the dregs of society, the hoi polloi and the un soaped, and uncouth who inhabit the slums and the boondocks of these cities. . They are bonded by life style, habits, customs and above all, their absolutely crude, uncouth, rude, corrupt, coarse and vulgar language.

Just as Chennai has its rickshaw –wallah Saidapettai variety of Tamil, London its cockney English, Harlem its corrupt Black-lish, Singapore its pidgin English, Taiwan its Chinglish, Mumbai has its own variety of Tapori Hindi that is the lingua franca of Mumbai's underbelly

Just as a man in Myalopre will not be seen speaking in the Syadpettai Tamil, a propah' middleclass Londoner would not be seen speaking in Cockney and an educated middle class New Yorker would shun the Harlem Blacklish, no educated Mumbaikar, be he Sindhi, Punjabi, Gujarati, Bengali, Maharashtrian, or Bhayya would be heard or seen speaking Mumbai's gutter slang, the Tapori Hiindi. However exceptions prove the rule.

And Mumbai's ghetto pattars, and a majority of their Venki-Lallis form this exception. They have mastered the intricacies of ."tapori" Hindi and are totally at home this section of Mumbai's underbelly. And incidentally while the other communities exploit this underbelly for their own ends like picking up office peons, domestic servants, petty clerks, musclemen, mechanics and mercenaries, many a Mumbai Lalli has procured her husband from this section.

It is said that language bonds. Haven't many of you who have traveled to distant places found comfort in the company of Tamil speaking fellow traveler , or even a Malayalam or Hindi speaking fellow traveler ? It is language, the type of language you speak, your proficiency in the language that leads to better bonding and the quality of persons you choose to befriend. For example would a man from Mylapore speaking good Tanjore Tamil bond with a guy from Saidaplettai speaking the Chennai slang? Unless it is for some practical purpose, this possibility cannot be evenly remotely thought of. Definitely the Mylapore mama's comfort level, sense of identification and bonding will be with his fellow Myalporean of similar traits. But just imagine a Mylapaore mama speaking the Saidapettai slang ! He would find himself more comfortable, more compatible and have a greater sense of bonding and identification with the Saidapettai Madrasi.

This is exactly what has happened in Mumbai. Not having any sense of pride, knowledge or love for their language, their rich cultural, social and Brahminical heritage and with an acute inferiority complex, and with a sense of paranoia in being identified as Madrasis, our early Mumbai pattars migrants , resorted to speaking the bazaar variety of Hindi, Mumbai's tapori Hindi. Fine, no harm in it. But bazaar Hindi is for the bazaars. Why bring it home? And why infect the inflict the children with it and use it as a medium of conversation at home and among friends?

This is not to say that other communities do not speak this language. But they leave this language in the baazaar, in the street. They don't all0ow their homes, temples, gurudwaras and their social circle to be infected with this. A Gujurati, man or woman, boy or girl, friend or enemy, will speak only in Gujarati with a fellow Gujarati. The Marathis, Sindhis, Punjabis, every one ditto. And thus, they bond as a community. This prevents their children from going out of the social circle, prevents them from descending into the arms of rootless taporis.

I happened to be a guest at a function of a friend's daughter, a Lalli who has married a localite. The priest was one of those potbellied, poobnooled, bejewelled vadhyars . Lalli's brother, Venki was around looking after the arrangements. In fact he arrived at the function a few minutes later than I. And I faithfully reproduce the conversation between Lalli, her brother Venki and Lali's husband, in perfect Mumbai tapori Hindi:

लल्ली : अरे वेंकी, तू किधर था re

Venki: क्या बोलूरे, गाडी पर बोहोत गर्दी

Lalli: क्या रे तू विलाक्स को देखा क्यारे

Veniki: कोनरे विलास मेरेको विलास किलास कुछ पता nayre

Lali: क्यारे वेंकी, काय्क्कोऊ आल्ल्त्तू फल्त्तू बोलातिरे...अपना वोइच vilasre

Venbki: पैलैच कय्क्कू निरे बोलैर्रे? वो साला चूतिया क्यारे? वोह तो एड हीरे

(enter Lalli's husband Ashok)

Ashok: क्यारे वेंकी, तू बम्बई में है का नै रे? तेरा तो पत्ताच नहीरे

Venki: क्या बोलूँ, इत्टना बीसी हिअरे ! साला आनेक्कू पत्तैरे

(Lalli's mother could be heard shouting from deep inside the kitchenJ

Lalli's mom: अरे लाली, कानेक्का टाइम होगायारे . लाली तूने पान लाया करे

Lalli: क्या बोलतो कुछ समझ नहीं आत्ता हीरे. एक मिनुतरे मुम्मी,,, आत्ता है मे

(Lalli goes inside)

Lalli's mom: क्यारे लल्ली पान लेकेआयारे?

Lalli: हाँ मम्मी, लाई ना. खली फुक्कट भेजा क्यों काटती है

Lalli's mom: कित्ताना लायारे लाली?i

Lalli: One hundred and fifty ललाई ee

Lalli's mom: अरे मई बोलीथी कानेक्का पान

Lalli: कानेकाच पाजं लाई मुम्मी

Lalli's mom: न्य्य्रे,अ वो कानेका पान नय्र्रे

Lali: अय्यूए मम्मी वोइत्च लाई...दिमाग मत चाटो. कोनसा कनेक्का पान?

Lalli's mom: वोइरे जिस्प्मे आप्पून लोक काना कट्टा हीरे

(Mercifully this conversation was put to an end with Lalli's uncle butting in and saying in chaste Palakkad Tamiz, "மரியாதிய தமிழலை பேசினா போஎராதா ? தமிழலை வாழைஇலை சொன்னா போரகதா ? என்ன ஜென்மங்கள் அப்பா இதுகள்

While this scene was being enacted, the stage wss being set for another equally humorous scene. Lali's sister's 3 year old son , being nurtured by a Goan Christian lady in a day care crèche and needing desperately to use the loo came in screaming in typical Konglish (Goan butler English)

Baby : "mommy, big job, got to go kakka."

Baby's Mom, kanvent educated and excelling in Konglish Wott menn, going kakka again and again? No manners onee menn. You went kakka in de morning na?

Baby: No mommy, I went onee sussoo. Now I gettring kakka.

Baby's father, an IT employee born and brought unp in a Mumbai pattar ghetto, not convent educated:

क्यारे बेटा क्या ओअत्तैरे

Baby switching to tapor Hindi: टट्टी आत्तैरे पप्पा

Baby's Father:: हाँ बेटा चल मई तेरेको लेकर चल्त्तई i.

Baby: जल्दी पपप बोहुत जोर का आत्ती i

Baby's Father: बेटा टट्टी किधर करेंगा , थान्दास में की गटर में

Baby:
गत्तर में पप्पा

Poor baby couldn't hold any more so he dirtied the floor.

Baby's Father: ऐई लाली, इसको जल्दीसे पेरुक्कू करो रे e

Lalli: थायर रे , चूलू नहीं मिल्तैआइरे e

Baby's father: छूलो इधर है.रे . जल्दीसे पेरुक्कू करोरे

Lalli: तू चुप्प बैठरे. तेरेको मेरे जितना मालोम है क्यारी रे? मई कुच्ची चूलू लेकर पेरुक्कू करूंगीrre

.

Reader, please perm it me to draw the curtain of charity on this morbid drama. But I won't do nso before remarking that

Elisa Doolittle, the London cockney maid in the movie "My Fair Lady" , ended up by marrying Prof Higgins her language guru. Munabhai, the Mumnbai tapori in the movie Dr. Mummabhai MBBS, ended up marrying the sophisticated doctor Asthana's equally sophisticated Dr. Chinki aka Suman. This was a socially upward mobility for Elisa and Mummabhai

"Is it any wonder that people speaking such corrupt language end up marrying the denizens of Muimbai's underbelly drawn to the latter by the strong bonds of the Muymbai tapori lingo ?"

लाक्स्मिनारायण,